Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
