Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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