Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Randomize
