it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
