is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
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