So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
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