I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Randomize
