Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
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