I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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