my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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