I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Randomize
