September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Randomize
