the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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