the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Randomize
