so that wasnt chicken after all
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
We need to rekindle our bromance
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
Randomize
