You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
