saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
