I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Randomize
