We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Randomize
