He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
Randomize
