Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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