I wish my penis had an off switch
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Randomize
