Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Randomize
