I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Randomize
