hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
Randomize
