Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
sarcasm needs its own font
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
Randomize
