It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
Randomize
