this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Randomize
