It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
