i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Randomize
