so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
