you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
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