Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
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