some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
We're not piercing ourselves today.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Randomize
