We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
is this the sara with the beer cane?
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
I think i got beer on your cat.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
