Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
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