she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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