Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Randomize
