If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
Randomize
