I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
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