but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Randomize
