He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize
