My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
Come share oat with me in your robe
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
They have beer where we have blood.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
