Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
foreskin is a definite game changer
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Randomize
