Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Randomize
