I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
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