marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Randomize
