we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
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