i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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