my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Randomize
