Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
