you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Randomize
