no. you can't hotbox the world.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
