I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
