a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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