it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
